Saturday, September 25, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
email@example.com: i have a great white shark tattoo
firstname.lastname@example.org: did you know that?
email@example.com: my thigh
firstname.lastname@example.org: goes from above my knee to right below my bum
email@example.com/6A5D17E9: thats serious business
firstname.lastname@example.org: it's almost finished... and then i will get a buddy to keep him company on the other side of the same leg
email@example.com: it rules
firstname.lastname@example.org: it will be omazing
email@example.com: haha nope
firstname.lastname@example.org: another great white probably
email@example.com: and maybe with some surfer legs sticking out of its mouth
firstname.lastname@example.org/6A5D17E9: well my vote would be a hammerhead
email@example.com: hammerhead = least favorite shark
firstname.lastname@example.org/6A5D17E9: electric eel?
email@example.com: another bad ass great white
firstname.lastname@example.org: haha kira
email@example.com: it's already been decided
firstname.lastname@example.org/6A5D17E9: get the crocodile hunter and a sting ray and electric bolts
email@example.com: see isn't this cheering you up even slightly?
firstname.lastname@example.org/6A5D17E9: yes actually
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
This is where I say "I embrace me for the amazing things that pop out of my mouth and will continue doing this, whether I want to or not.
To see the funny man himself click here
Friday, February 19, 2010
I must have a lot of time on my hands because these are the things I think about on a regular basis. Having put much thought into this, I have finally come up with an answer I am proud to claim. I think you cant have a song that is too trendy at the time, because you always end up sick of it at one time or another and it needs to be something that makes you happy ANY time you listen to it. Last but not least it needs to say something about you and your personality.
With all factors taken into account, my theme song is Groove is in the Heart by Deee-Lite. It makes me smile every time I hear it and makes me wanna dance. Also slide whistles should always be included in any theme music because they make me laugh. Bring the slide whistle back into all forms of music. I like a musical instrument I can play with no skill or musical ability.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
It was my brother Jeremy's 25th birthday and he was having a dinner and a night dedicated to him at Skybar. This was my first encounter with the Skybar and I will have to say, the food is totally over rated and over priced but the view was cool. My friend Erin and her boyfriend Kris came as well as a bunch of Jeremy's friends and Whit. One of my brother's friends Danielle came in and was like "Oh Hey Allee." I was like "Hi Danielle, its Kira." I think she felt a little embarrassed but sadly that was the least awkward mistaking for Allee of the night. Once dinner was over we went into the club part and I was standing with my friend Erin and this dude came up to me and said "Heyyy!" and went for a hug. I had NO idea who this person was so I kinda stepped back and said "Do I know you? " and he got a look on his face like....DUHHHH! and said "Are you joking?"...and kinda chuckled. I am not a super touchy person so I really didn't want to give this random dude a hug. He then said in a mocking tone, "Is your name Allee Fleming?" and I came back with a serious tone "No its not." Then he looked totally embarrassed and I said "That is my little sister."
Part of me see's how Allee and I look alike, but part of me doesn't. She is a lot shorter than I am and has a very petite build. (Not that I mind being mistaken for someone who is almost 8 years younger than myself, and a lot smaller....Its like every girls dream. haha ) I just don't see how we get mistaken for each other to that extent. There was another one of Jeremy's friends who I have met before and I can almost guarantee Allee has too.....and it just dawned on him last night that there were two of us.
I have a few highlights from the night as well. I find people absolutely fascinating in clubs. Its such a weird display of human behavior. No where else can you be and have some random dude try and rub up on you and call it "dancing". No you are not fooling anyone and ladies why has this become acceptable? If I was standing at the grocery store and a random dude rubbed up on me and called it grocery shopping would I find that acceptable behavior? No I would not.
One of my favorite moments were the dude's. My first hit on of the night (for some reason I was on fire that night or something because man, had to beat them off with a stick.....hehehe) was this guy who I have lovingly nicknamed Hot Dog Neck. I can give him a semi-mean nickname because he had no game. I was hanging with Erin and a waitress came up to me and said a guy at the table over there wants to buy you a drink, but there is a catch. You have to go over there and talk to him. I didnt even look in the direction she was pointing for two reasons 1) If someone is having the guts to hit on you, but then undoing all they have done by having a waitress make the first move, Guys grow a set and talk to a girl yourself! and b) I will never pick up a guy at a club ever. Gross. I did later sneak a peek and the spineless dude hitting on me and all I could see was a shaved head and what looked like a package of hot dogs on the back of his neck and head. So when she said "he is over there at the table" I said "well I dont drink so he cant buy me a drink." Crisis averted right? Not quite....
There was also this dude who kept asking me to dance even after being rejected multiple times. I, in no way, would like to dance with you dude....stop asking. I'm not drinking so I wont forget you asked me ten minutes ago.
Erin and I had some amazing moves and tried to do some butt poppin (yeah I am white.....it doesn't happen) and then we did any old dance moves or dorky moves we could think of (think the twist and what you automatically think of when you dance to Jitterbug by Wham. Oh and on a few rap songs I got a little thuggy. All of this I would try and pretend I could pull it off...but by the end I would start giggling.
So back to Hot Dog Neck. He kept lurking around and even went and danced with some chick but he was looking over at me. Seriously there is no way you are making me jealous so don't think that is gonna work. Finally at the very end of the night he came up to me and Whitney and was dancing by us. This is where the other guy, the one who wouldn't get a hint that I didnt want to talk to him actually kind of saved me. He came up while Hot Dog Neck was still trying to get the balls to talk to me and again asked me to dance with him. I had to reject again and get a little more firm and mean like a badger so maybe this would be the last time.
So what this boils down to: I had super fun, got hit on (always a good little boost) and I got to be sassy to lame guys. Excellent birthday for my Jeremy!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Something that will make anyone completely happy is my sassy Grandma. You always know she will give it to you straight and that's what makes everybody love her. Last week I was doing her perm and I told her I went out with Whitney to see Jeremy play and his club was having a Halloween costume contest. I had an amazing thrown-together-in-15-minutes costume from last year so I decided to go. I ended up winning the contest and was telling my Grandma about it. The award winning costume (haha) was the Bride of Frankenstein and I was telling her how I made it and did my makeup. Then I mentioned I used black liquid eyeliner for the stitches around my neck and I laughed how, by the end of the night, my double chin had smeared it. She simply stated "Oh yes, you have always had that double chin." Funny thing is, she is right but I still won 50 dollars so I win.
P.S. I was taking pictures, so this is the only one I have of me....but Whit and I are ADORABLE if I must say so.
When you get on an elevator and someone else is on there, its always sort of a panic situation. You are trapped with a complete stranger and do you acknowledge them or pretend they aren't there? Do you make forced conversation or remain in the still and quiet as the floors pass?
The reason I bring this up is my friend had an emergency surgery and I went to the hospital to visit her. I went to get on the elevator and there was a guy in there (who I would estimate to be in his 60's) and he asked me what floor I needed. This isn't uncommon behavior but after I told him 10 he said "Oh this will be a short date?" I have to admit this threw me off.....I laughed and said "Yeah we are only together for 5 floors" Then his floor came up and he got out and as the doors were shutting he said "I will miss you". That actually made me laugh pretty hard. I say bravo to this kind fellow for making the awkward elevator situation a funny joke but if this dude had been younger I would have been totally creeped out.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Rewind to 10 years ago, I had just moved out with my friends and we were going to visit my other friend Erin at the salon she worked at in Sugarhouse. In the car it was me, Heather, Bekah and this dude Jake. (I cant recall his last name but can recall the nickname we gave him.) He put in a cd and instantly I was struck with how amazing it was, and seriously got the chills. He was doing his boy dancing/air drum playing in the front seat. I don't remember any other details of that night but I remember that song.
The next memory was the following weekend. I had Saturday's off and so did Heather. She had parked behind Bekah but wasn't at home, and Bekah needed to get to work. She gave me the keys to her car and she took mine. At the time I had a lame Nissan Sentra...basic soccer mom-mobile and she had a cute VW convertible. So after I woke up and got ready I went to drive around in the way cooler car. (No big deal) I went to Graywhale and bought the cd with THE song. It was a nice day and I got to rock out with the wind in my hair. Aaah to be young and silly again.
Now I know this definitely isnt everyone's cup of tea, but it is totally mine! I dislike (with the firey passion of the sun) slow music and there is something enchanting about a dude who can scream like that.
I thought I would write that down before I forget due to old age (hello last year of my 20's!) or just all round forgetting everything.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
On Monday I expect to be on the news because I went to work and did payroll. This may be what I get paid to do, but I want news coverage.
** I am in now way mocking the awesomeness of a kid being saved.....that is fantastic. Nobody wants to lose a loved one.
Monday, July 27, 2009
The first show ruined by others was Daisy of Love. Yes this may be more trash than TV but either way I watch. Signed into Facebook mid-watch and it was a status update on someones page. Yes I could finish out the day with this knowledge, because really it didn't matter all that much to me. (Yes she made a choice of someone on her reading level.)
So I have had the Bachelorette ruined for me a couple of times by people talking about it before I watched it so tonight I let it record ahead so I wouldnt have to watch commercials. This was even mentioned to my mom today, saying I have to watch it before I can sign into facebook or watch other TV because it keeps getting ruined. I was mid way through and my lovely friend Jana sent me a text message asking if I was watching it. I replied back Yes I was, but dont tell me because I was behind. She mis-read this and texted back, She chose Ed. BAHHHHHHHH! Then I called her an A-hole (may not be my proudest moment but maybe a bit justified- haha) Then she responded that Reid came back and proposed as well and she said no.
Why!!!!! I dont have much in the dating or reality worlds going on in my life, so I watch silly TV shows and they get ruined. I may not be ok the rest of the summer.
Or I may be over it in 10 minutes. I hope for the 2nd but there are no guarentees.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Word on the street is, after 8 weeks, the parents have the go ahead to move from my house, back into there house. If you need me I will be walking around my house in my underwear (something I have not done for 8 weeks)
Maybe I will recreate an 80's movie dance sequence (think Footloose meets Flashdance, meets Girls Just Want to Have Fun.) around the house in my underwear in celebration.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Since I am on the salon rant, another thing that drives me nuts is having to do ugly hair. Now I try and give advice on what people should and shouldn't do and they having their own personal choices can choose not to follow it. I just hate when its so far off base that I hate it and want to put a bag over their head and tell them to forget who did their hair.
Example: I used to do this lady at Finnish Touch Day Spa that was from a different country and wanted me to braid her hair in little braids and perm it. After trying to talk her out of this idea for quite a long time and explaining that it would look like straight hair at the roots, then frizzy, then straight at the ends I finally gave in and did it. It was even uglier than I had pictured in my head and after she left that night I was sure she was going to call and complain. I told my manager about it to give a heads up and I was surprised that I never got a complaint. I was even more surprised when she came back to me for the 3 years I worked there.
So my question is now: Where is my US Weekly, People or Tiger Beat?