Saturday, September 25, 2010

Sketchy Tattoo Shop Situation

So I thought I would write a little post about the Sketchy Tattoo Shop Situation I was in yesterday (in case you didn't get that from the title I thought I would re-write that for good measure). I bought a new phone off of eBay probably about a month ago and it was supposed to be unlocked. It wasn't and I have been battling it out with the turd who sold it to me ever since. Since I already paid for an unlocked phone I really didn't want to pay again but my phone was on its last leg (maybe even its last baby toe, that's the weird one with the somewhat strange little toenail) So I looked on and found someone who would do it for 15 dollars. I called him when I got off work and he said he was at work and gave me the address. It was close to the salon I work at so I headed down, all excited to finally be able to use the phone. I got there and it was a very shady tattoo shop with bars on the windows and was in the Utah version of Spanish Harlem. Close to the Salon, yet worlds away. This probably should have deterred me but again I was on the baby toe of my last phone. I walked in and 3 strapping Spanish dudes and an older one who looks like he hasn't weathered the storm very well were all just staring at me. This went on for seriously 20 seconds without a word said. Now I don't get freaked out very easy but this was very intimidating. I finally asked if Anthony was there and he popped his head around the corner and said hi. So I gave him my phone and he said it would take about 35 minutes to unlock. I definitely didn't want to leave my phone there for that long, and yet I didn't want to stay either. I sat down on the bench and started texting people about the situation I was in now and was hoping if my dead body showed up on the side of the freeway they would know where to look. Then the weathered dude started talking to me. Any time he wanted my attention he said "Girl" and I was to answer. We talked about tattoo politics and he was actually very chatty and friendly. He was giving these 2 young dudes their first tattoos. Finally Anthony came back and asked for my sim card. I now was thinking the text messages were a mistake because now he would be making it all work and if someone replies back about my text they would all know I was talking crap. Again I heard "Girl" and talked to the leather looking one. Finally after about 40 minutes Anthony came back and showed me all of the features he installed and how to use them and was very helpful. Long story short....Don't judge a book by its cover, and when answering internet ads, take a friend well versed in Kung Fu Karate Chops and kicks with a keeeyyyyah kahhhh!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Most amazing chat. i have a great white shark tattoo did you know that? no where my thigh goes from above my knee to right below my bum haha woah thats serious business it's almost finished... and then i will get a buddy to keep him company on the other side of the same leg yeah it rules hammerhead? it will be omazing get a hammerhead haha nope eff another great white probably and maybe with some surfer legs sticking out of its mouth well my vote would be a hammerhead ha hammerhead = least favorite shark pssh electric eel? nope another bad ass great white haha kira it's already been decided lol get the crocodile hunter and a sting ray and electric bolts hahaha LMAO hahaha see isn't this cheering you up even slightly? yes actually hehehehe

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Oooooh McSteamy!

I have a new love of my life. His name is McSteamy and he keeps it hot. I know this may come as a surprise to most because I have been single for so long but we just started our love affair today. He is a steam cleaner and I have been using him all around the house. Toilets are sparkling, nooks and cranny's have been steamed and I will never clean the same again. Toast to my new boyfriend have steamed your way into the nooks and cranny's of my heart.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

One of those moments

Ever had one of those moments where your mouth keeps moving and your brain screams shut up, shut up, you sound lame. My life is a collection of these moments strung together with some other boring crap in between. Tonight at Scrapbook Club we were talking about our favorite TV shows (that whole sentence is on the lame side) and I brought up the Good Wife. I have been very into this show since the beginning. Brandie (scrapbook hostess extraordinaire!) said that she thought it was weird Pee Wee Herman was playing Eli Gould. I get all into this conversation because I am a Pee Wee Fan. I have discovered that should be something I probably shouldn't share with everyone. I was getting a little feisty about how Gould was not played by Pee Wee. Brandie said that it looks just like him. I was again a bit feisty about this and said they look nothing alike. Then I have to offer up the fact that I would have known if he was doing that show because I am a fan on Facebook and I get updates on his goings ons. (again brain screaming SHUT UP, SHUT UP) I never listen to my brain because it takes too long to process anything that my mouth is saying and it just comes out.

This is where I say "I embrace me for the amazing things that pop out of my mouth and will continue doing this, whether I want to or not.
To see the funny man himself click here

Friday, February 19, 2010

Theme Music

Have you ever wondered if guest's on Ellen get to pick the music they walk out to? I always wonder that and if they do - what is the thought process that goes behind it?
I must have a lot of time on my hands because these are the things I think about on a regular basis. Having put much thought into this, I have finally come up with an answer I am proud to claim. I think you cant have a song that is too trendy at the time, because you always end up sick of it at one time or another and it needs to be something that makes you happy ANY time you listen to it. Last but not least it needs to say something about you and your personality.

With all factors taken into account, my theme song is Groove is in the Heart by Deee-Lite. It makes me smile every time I hear it and makes me wanna dance. Also slide whistles should always be included in any theme music because they make me laugh. Bring the slide whistle back into all forms of music. I like a musical instrument I can play with no skill or musical ability.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Old Lady Dancin'

So I did something unheard of last night. I went dancing, and on a weeknight as well....breaking all kinds of old lady rules!
It was my brother Jeremy's 25th birthday and he was having a dinner and a night dedicated to him at Skybar. This was my first encounter with the Skybar and I will have to say, the food is totally over rated and over priced but the view was cool. My friend Erin and her boyfriend Kris came as well as a bunch of Jeremy's friends and Whit. One of my brother's friends Danielle came in and was like "Oh Hey Allee." I was like "Hi Danielle, its Kira." I think she felt a little embarrassed but sadly that was the least awkward mistaking for Allee of the night. Once dinner was over we went into the club part and I was standing with my friend Erin and this dude came up to me and said "Heyyy!" and went for a hug. I had NO idea who this person was so I kinda stepped back and said "Do I know you? " and he got a look on his face like....DUHHHH! and said "Are you joking?"...and kinda chuckled. I am not a super touchy person so I really didn't want to give this random dude a hug. He then said in a mocking tone, "Is your name Allee Fleming?" and I came back with a serious tone "No its not." Then he looked totally embarrassed and I said "That is my little sister."
Part of me see's how Allee and I look alike, but part of me doesn't. She is a lot shorter than I am and has a very petite build. (Not that I mind being mistaken for someone who is almost 8 years younger than myself, and a lot smaller....Its like every girls dream. haha ) I just don't see how we get mistaken for each other to that extent. There was another one of Jeremy's friends who I have met before and I can almost guarantee Allee has too.....and it just dawned on him last night that there were two of us.

I have a few highlights from the night as well. I find people absolutely fascinating in clubs. Its such a weird display of human behavior. No where else can you be and have some random dude try and rub up on you and call it "dancing". No you are not fooling anyone and ladies why has this become acceptable? If I was standing at the grocery store and a random dude rubbed up on me and called it grocery shopping would I find that acceptable behavior? No I would not.

One of my favorite moments were the dude's. My first hit on of the night (for some reason I was on fire that night or something because man, had to beat them off with a stick.....hehehe) was this guy who I have lovingly nicknamed Hot Dog Neck. I can give him a semi-mean nickname because he had no game. I was hanging with Erin and a waitress came up to me and said a guy at the table over there wants to buy you a drink, but there is a catch. You have to go over there and talk to him. I didnt even look in the direction she was pointing for two reasons 1) If someone is having the guts to hit on you, but then undoing all they have done by having a waitress make the first move, Guys grow a set and talk to a girl yourself! and b) I will never pick up a guy at a club ever. Gross. I did later sneak a peek and the spineless dude hitting on me and all I could see was a shaved head and what looked like a package of hot dogs on the back of his neck and head. So when she said "he is over there at the table" I said "well I dont drink so he cant buy me a drink." Crisis averted right? Not quite....

There was also this dude who kept asking me to dance even after being rejected multiple times. I, in no way, would like to dance with you dude....stop asking. I'm not drinking so I wont forget you asked me ten minutes ago.

Erin and I had some amazing moves and tried to do some butt poppin (yeah I am doesn't happen) and then we did any old dance moves or dorky moves we could think of (think the twist and what you automatically think of when you dance to Jitterbug by Wham. Oh and on a few rap songs I got a little thuggy. All of this I would try and pretend I could pull it off...but by the end I would start giggling.

So back to Hot Dog Neck. He kept lurking around and even went and danced with some chick but he was looking over at me. Seriously there is no way you are making me jealous so don't think that is gonna work. Finally at the very end of the night he came up to me and Whitney and was dancing by us. This is where the other guy, the one who wouldn't get a hint that I didnt want to talk to him actually kind of saved me. He came up while Hot Dog Neck was still trying to get the balls to talk to me and again asked me to dance with him. I had to reject again and get a little more firm and mean like a badger so maybe this would be the last time.

So what this boils down to: I had super fun, got hit on (always a good little boost) and I got to be sassy to lame guys. Excellent birthday for my Jeremy!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Grandmother Is amazing.

Something that will make anyone completely happy is my sassy Grandma. You always know she will give it to you straight and that's what makes everybody love her. Last week I was doing her perm and I told her I went out with Whitney to see Jeremy play and his club was having a Halloween costume contest. I had an amazing thrown-together-in-15-minutes costume from last year so I decided to go. I ended up winning the contest and was telling my Grandma about it. The award winning costume (haha) was the Bride of Frankenstein and I was telling her how I made it and did my makeup. Then I mentioned I used black liquid eyeliner for the stitches around my neck and I laughed how, by the end of the night, my double chin had smeared it. She simply stated "Oh yes, you have always had that double chin." Funny thing is, she is right but I still won 50 dollars so I win.
P.S. I was taking pictures, so this is the only one I have of me....but Whit and I are ADORABLE if I must say so.

Elevators are awkward

When you get on an elevator and someone else is on there, its always sort of a panic situation. You are trapped with a complete stranger and do you acknowledge them or pretend they aren't there? Do you make forced conversation or remain in the still and quiet as the floors pass?

The reason I bring this up is my friend had an emergency surgery and I went to the hospital to visit her. I went to get on the elevator and there was a guy in there (who I would estimate to be in his 60's) and he asked me what floor I needed. This isn't uncommon behavior but after I told him 10 he said "Oh this will be a short date?" I have to admit this threw me off.....I laughed and said "Yeah we are only together for 5 floors" Then his floor came up and he got out and as the doors were shutting he said "I will miss you". That actually made me laugh pretty hard. I say bravo to this kind fellow for making the awkward elevator situation a funny joke but if this dude had been younger I would have been totally creeped out.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A blog about a song.

So I was minding my own business driving home with the iPod on shuffle and a song came on I totally forgot about and Im pretty sure it is my favorite song of all time. I can distinctly remember the first time I heard it, and the weekend following it. The song was New Noise by Refused. (the whole cd is amazing.)

Rewind to 10 years ago, I had just moved out with my friends and we were going to visit my other friend Erin at the salon she worked at in Sugarhouse. In the car it was me, Heather, Bekah and this dude Jake. (I cant recall his last name but can recall the nickname we gave him.) He put in a cd and instantly I was struck with how amazing it was, and seriously got the chills. He was doing his boy dancing/air drum playing in the front seat. I don't remember any other details of that night but I remember that song.

The next memory was the following weekend. I had Saturday's off and so did Heather. She had parked behind Bekah but wasn't at home, and Bekah needed to get to work. She gave me the keys to her car and she took mine. At the time I had a lame Nissan Sentra...basic soccer mom-mobile and she had a cute VW convertible. So after I woke up and got ready I went to drive around in the way cooler car. (No big deal) I went to Graywhale and bought the cd with THE song. It was a nice day and I got to rock out with the wind in my hair. Aaah to be young and silly again.

Now I know this definitely isnt everyone's cup of tea, but it is totally mine! I dislike (with the firey passion of the sun) slow music and there is something enchanting about a dude who can scream like that.

I thought I would write that down before I forget due to old age (hello last year of my 20's!) or just all round forgetting everything.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Top Story

So I was watching the news last night (yes this in itself is unique and blog post worthy because it doesn't happen very often) but their lead story was how a lifeguard saved a life. ** Is it me or is this strange. I am pretty sure I don't get on the news because I did hair today (amazingly I might add - not to ring my own bell) I was under the impression that is the function of a lifeguards. Its even in the name of the job. Maybe this was impressive because the teen who saved the kid was actually paying attention to what he should be doing (saving lives) and not what most lifeguards do.....working on a fast track to skin cancer and checking out babes in bikinis.

On Monday I expect to be on the news because I went to work and did payroll. This may be what I get paid to do, but I want news coverage.

** I am in now way mocking the awesomeness of a kid being saved.....that is fantastic. Nobody wants to lose a loved one.

Monday, July 27, 2009


So I have a confession. I may have a serious reality TV. I am not sure if this is an added perk to the Kira package or if its something that happens to come with Kira that you just have to deal with. Either way, saying out loud I have an addiction to said TV shows makes it all ok. So twice today I have had the results of reality dating shows revealed to me in the middle of watching the finale. Yes its called DVR people, not everyone watches in real time.
The first show ruined by others was Daisy of Love. Yes this may be more trash than TV but either way I watch. Signed into Facebook mid-watch and it was a status update on someones page. Yes I could finish out the day with this knowledge, because really it didn't matter all that much to me. (Yes she made a choice of someone on her reading level.)
So I have had the Bachelorette ruined for me a couple of times by people talking about it before I watched it so tonight I let it record ahead so I wouldnt have to watch commercials. This was even mentioned to my mom today, saying I have to watch it before I can sign into facebook or watch other TV because it keeps getting ruined. I was mid way through and my lovely friend Jana sent me a text message asking if I was watching it. I replied back Yes I was, but dont tell me because I was behind. She mis-read this and texted back, She chose Ed. BAHHHHHHHH! Then I called her an A-hole (may not be my proudest moment but maybe a bit justified- haha) Then she responded that Reid came back and proposed as well and she said no.

Why!!!!! I dont have much in the dating or reality worlds going on in my life, so I watch silly TV shows and they get ruined. I may not be ok the rest of the summer.
Or I may be over it in 10 minutes. I hope for the 2nd but there are no guarentees.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Just Sayin'

At what point in life does this seem like a good swimsuit option? The bright tropical pattern/colors, the weird ruffle skirt. Bad Idea all around.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Say it isnt So!

Can a girl dream? Is it too good to be true?
Word on the street is, after 8 weeks, the parents have the go ahead to move from my house, back into there house. If you need me I will be walking around my house in my underwear (something I have not done for 8 weeks)
Maybe I will recreate an 80's movie dance sequence (think Footloose meets Flashdance, meets Girls Just Want to Have Fun.) around the house in my underwear in celebration.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Living Alone

One thing I cant seem to get used to, when living with others is the shower temperature. I have been spoiled living alone. I usually have the water temperature right below blistering my skin in the shower and I wake up while standing there for a long time. (always amazing on the hair color) I am not what we call a "morning person". I hate morning and wish I never had to do anything. I just need my alone time in the morning and this fine morning after not sleeping most of the early morning hours. I fell asleep right before I needed to get up for work so I was especially not feeling it. So I drag my lazy carcass to the shower and get it to the perfect conditions and stand there. Then I get the shock of my life. Ice water streaming all over. My mom got in the other shower and had a load of laundry going. Sometimes if you get out of the stream of water it will flip back to normal but not today. I stood there for what felt like eternity and it stayed in the polar ice cap range. Finally I change the temp and had to turn it almost to all the way hot before it even changed. There was no waiting for the conditioner today because I didn't know what the water would bring.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Lately I have been working quite a bit at the salon and there is one thing in common every time. I come in, and there is a couple of clean, dry towels, and there is a stack of used towels in the bin. It takes nano seconds of time to put a load of towels in, or switch them to the dryer but it would seem the full time girls at the salon cant pick this concept up. Nobody is perfect and everyone forgets things once and a while but come on!
Since I am on the salon rant, another thing that drives me nuts is having to do ugly hair. Now I try and give advice on what people should and shouldn't do and they having their own personal choices can choose not to follow it. I just hate when its so far off base that I hate it and want to put a bag over their head and tell them to forget who did their hair.
Example: I used to do this lady at Finnish Touch Day Spa that was from a different country and wanted me to braid her hair in little braids and perm it. After trying to talk her out of this idea for quite a long time and explaining that it would look like straight hair at the roots, then frizzy, then straight at the ends I finally gave in and did it. It was even uglier than I had pictured in my head and after she left that night I was sure she was going to call and complain. I told my manager about it to give a heads up and I was surprised that I never got a complaint. I was even more surprised when she came back to me for the 3 years I worked there.

Magazines in the bathroom

So I was at work today and it just dawned on me that there are magazines in the bathroom. This may sound exciting......stressful day, locking yourself in the bathroom and sneaking articles about your favorite celebrity, but no, the magazines in the work bathroom are Electrical Contractor. I'm pretty sure even electricians find the June issue of Electrical Contractor to be boring and put them right to sleep. Another thing I was wondering is why would you want to spend that kind of time in your work bathroom? Its not what I would think of as appealing and want to pull a foot rest and a magazine out to spend some time. Its where all of everybody gets to go, to go.

So my question is now: Where is my US Weekly, People or Tiger Beat?

Friday, May 22, 2009

Kathy is Krazy!

So I am spending the weekend up with my family at the cabin, and my funny aunt Kathy has been talking about Farm Town on Facebook. I had never heard about this but this is serious business. She was desperate to get her computer out to harvest her crops she planted last night. She has been talking about this computer game like its life and death. I guess she even has her daughter harvest her crops if she cant get to them in time. Then she tells me that she actually said how she has talked to childhood friends on her farm for 20 minutes. Im so glad Im not into video games so I dont have to re-arrange my life to harvest my crops.