Sketchy Tattoo Shop Situation

So I thought I would write a little post about the Sketchy Tattoo Shop Situation I was in yesterday (in case you didn't get that from the title I thought I would re-write that for good measure). I bought a new phone off of eBay probably about a month ago and it was supposed to be unlocked. It wasn't and I have been battling it out with the turd who sold it to me ever since. Since I already paid for an unlocked phone I really didn't want to pay again but my phone was on its last leg (maybe even its last baby toe, that's the weird one with the somewhat strange little toenail) So I looked on KSL.com and found someone who would do it for 15 dollars. I called him when I got off work and he said he was at work and gave me the address. It was close to the salon I work at so I headed down, all excited to finally be able to use the phone. I got there and it was a very shady tattoo shop with bars on the windows and was in the Utah version of Spanish Harlem. Close to the Salon, yet worlds away. This probably should have deterred me but again I was on the baby toe of my last phone. I walked in and 3 strapping Spanish dudes and an older one who looks like he hasn't weathered the storm very well were all just staring at me. This went on for seriously 20 seconds without a word said. Now I don't get freaked out very easy but this was very intimidating. I finally asked if Anthony was there and he popped his head around the corner and said hi. So I gave him my phone and he said it would take about 35 minutes to unlock. I definitely didn't want to leave my phone there for that long, and yet I didn't want to stay either. I sat down on the bench and started texting people about the situation I was in now and was hoping if my dead body showed up on the side of the freeway they would know where to look. Then the weathered dude started talking to me. Any time he wanted my attention he said "Girl" and I was to answer. We talked about tattoo politics and he was actually very chatty and friendly. He was giving these 2 young dudes their first tattoos. Finally Anthony came back and asked for my sim card. I now was thinking the text messages were a mistake because now he would be making it all work and if someone replies back about my text they would all know I was talking crap. Again I heard "Girl" and talked to the leather looking one. Finally after about 40 minutes Anthony came back and showed me all of the features he installed and how to use them and was very helpful. Long story short....Don't judge a book by its cover, and when answering internet ads, take a friend well versed in Kung Fu Karate Chops and kicks with a keeeyyyyah kahhhh!

Most amazing chat.

annwigham@gmail.com: i have a great white shark tattoo
annwigham@gmail.com: did you know that?
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: no
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: where
annwigham@gmail.com: my thigh
annwigham@gmail.com: goes from above my knee to right below my bum
annwigham@gmail.com: haha
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: woah
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: thats serious business
annwigham@gmail.com: it's almost finished... and then i will get a buddy to keep him company on the other side of the same leg
annwigham@gmail.com: yeah
annwigham@gmail.com: it rules
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: hammerhead?
annwigham@gmail.com: it will be omazing

kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: get a hammerhead

annwigham@gmail.com: haha nope
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: eff
annwigham@gmail.com: another great white probably
annwigham@gmail.com: and maybe with some surfer legs sticking out of its mouth
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: well my vote would be a hammerhead
annwigham@gmail.com: ha
annwigham@gmail.com: hammerhead = least favorite shark
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: pssh
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: electric eel?
annwigham@gmail.com: nope
annwigham@gmail.com: another bad ass great white
annwigham@gmail.com: haha kira
annwigham@gmail.com: it's already been decided
annwigham@gmail.com: lol
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: get the crocodile hunter and a sting ray and electric bolts
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: hahaha
annwigham@gmail.com: LMAO
annwigham@gmail.com: hahaha
annwigham@gmail.com: see isn't this cheering you up even slightly?
kiralouwho@gmail.com/6A5D17E9: yes actually
annwigham@gmail.com: hehehehe

Oooooh McSteamy!

I have a new love of my life. His name is McSteamy and he keeps it hot. I know this may come as a surprise to most because I have been single for so long but we just started our love affair today. He is a steam cleaner and I have been using him all around the house. Toilets are sparkling, nooks and cranny's have been steamed and I will never clean the same again. Toast to my new boyfriend McSteamy......you have steamed your way into the nooks and cranny's of my heart.

One of those moments

Ever had one of those moments where your mouth keeps moving and your brain screams shut up, shut up, you sound lame. My life is a collection of these moments strung together with some other boring crap in between. Tonight at Scrapbook Club we were talking about our favorite TV shows (that whole sentence is on the lame side) and I brought up the Good Wife. I have been very into this show since the beginning. Brandie (scrapbook hostess extraordinaire!) said that she thought it was weird Pee Wee Herman was playing Eli Gould. I get all into this conversation because I am a Pee Wee Fan. I have discovered that should be something I probably shouldn't share with everyone. I was getting a little feisty about how Gould was not played by Pee Wee. Brandie said that it looks just like him. I was again a bit feisty about this and said they look nothing alike. Then I have to offer up the fact that I would have known if he was doing that show because I am a fan on Facebook and I get updates on his goings ons. (again brain screaming SHUT UP, SHUT UP) I never listen to my brain because it takes too long to process anything that my mouth is saying and it just comes out.

This is where I say "I embrace me for the amazing things that pop out of my mouth and will continue doing this, whether I want to or not.
To see the funny man himself click here

Theme Music

Have you ever wondered if guest's on Ellen get to pick the music they walk out to? I always wonder that and if they do - what is the thought process that goes behind it?
I must have a lot of time on my hands because these are the things I think about on a regular basis. Having put much thought into this, I have finally come up with an answer I am proud to claim. I think you cant have a song that is too trendy at the time, because you always end up sick of it at one time or another and it needs to be something that makes you happy ANY time you listen to it. Last but not least it needs to say something about you and your personality.

With all factors taken into account, my theme song is Groove is in the Heart by Deee-Lite. It makes me smile every time I hear it and makes me wanna dance. Also slide whistles should always be included in any theme music because they make me laugh. Bring the slide whistle back into all forms of music. I like a musical instrument I can play with no skill or musical ability.

Old Lady Dancin'

So I did something unheard of last night. I went dancing, and on a weeknight as well....breaking all kinds of old lady rules!
It was my brother Jeremy's 25th birthday and he was having a dinner and a night dedicated to him at Skybar. This was my first encounter with the Skybar and I will have to say, the food is totally over rated and over priced but the view was cool. My friend Erin and her boyfriend Kris came as well as a bunch of Jeremy's friends and Whit. One of my brother's friends Danielle came in and was like "Oh Hey Allee." I was like "Hi Danielle, its Kira." I think she felt a little embarrassed but sadly that was the least awkward mistaking for Allee of the night. Once dinner was over we went into the club part and I was standing with my friend Erin and this dude came up to me and said "Heyyy!" and went for a hug. I had NO idea who this person was so I kinda stepped back and said "Do I know you? " and he got a look on his face like....DUHHHH! and said "Are you joking?"...and kinda chuckled. I am not a super touchy person so I really didn't want to give this random dude a hug. He then said in a mocking tone, "Is your name Allee Fleming?" and I came back with a serious tone "No its not." Then he looked totally embarrassed and I said "That is my little sister."
Part of me see's how Allee and I look alike, but part of me doesn't. She is a lot shorter than I am and has a very petite build. (Not that I mind being mistaken for someone who is almost 8 years younger than myself, and a lot smaller....Its like every girls dream. haha ) I just don't see how we get mistaken for each other to that extent. There was another one of Jeremy's friends who I have met before and I can almost guarantee Allee has too.....and it just dawned on him last night that there were two of us.

I have a few highlights from the night as well. I find people absolutely fascinating in clubs. Its such a weird display of human behavior. No where else can you be and have some random dude try and rub up on you and call it "dancing". No you are not fooling anyone and ladies why has this become acceptable? If I was standing at the grocery store and a random dude rubbed up on me and called it grocery shopping would I find that acceptable behavior? No I would not.

One of my favorite moments were the dude's. My first hit on of the night (for some reason I was on fire that night or something because man, had to beat them off with a stick.....hehehe) was this guy who I have lovingly nicknamed Hot Dog Neck. I can give him a semi-mean nickname because he had no game. I was hanging with Erin and a waitress came up to me and said a guy at the table over there wants to buy you a drink, but there is a catch. You have to go over there and talk to him. I didnt even look in the direction she was pointing for two reasons 1) If someone is having the guts to hit on you, but then undoing all they have done by having a waitress make the first move, Guys grow a set and talk to a girl yourself! and b) I will never pick up a guy at a club ever. Gross. I did later sneak a peek and the spineless dude hitting on me and all I could see was a shaved head and what looked like a package of hot dogs on the back of his neck and head. So when she said "he is over there at the table" I said "well I dont drink so he cant buy me a drink." Crisis averted right? Not quite....

There was also this dude who kept asking me to dance even after being rejected multiple times. I, in no way, would like to dance with you dude....stop asking. I'm not drinking so I wont forget you asked me ten minutes ago.

Erin and I had some amazing moves and tried to do some butt poppin (yeah I am white.....it doesn't happen) and then we did any old dance moves or dorky moves we could think of (think the twist and what you automatically think of when you dance to Jitterbug by Wham. Oh and on a few rap songs I got a little thuggy. All of this I would try and pretend I could pull it off...but by the end I would start giggling.

So back to Hot Dog Neck. He kept lurking around and even went and danced with some chick but he was looking over at me. Seriously there is no way you are making me jealous so don't think that is gonna work. Finally at the very end of the night he came up to me and Whitney and was dancing by us. This is where the other guy, the one who wouldn't get a hint that I didnt want to talk to him actually kind of saved me. He came up while Hot Dog Neck was still trying to get the balls to talk to me and again asked me to dance with him. I had to reject again and get a little more firm and mean like a badger so maybe this would be the last time.

So what this boils down to: I had super fun, got hit on (always a good little boost) and I got to be sassy to lame guys. Excellent birthday for my Jeremy!