Sunday, March 29, 2009

Monday, March 23, 2009

A letter to mister Garbage man

Dear Sweet Garbage Man-

I appreciate what you do to remove stinky things from my place. I am glad someone out there will deal with other peoples trash. I have a hard enough time dealing with peoples emotional garbage, and that doesn't have dirty diapers or rotten food.

I would like to talk to you about the way you treat my beautiful army green garbage can, issued by the city. I love it when you let it spew garbage all over the street. You may try and say that it must have been over filled and that's why it was acceptable to litter my neighborhood with unwanted items. The truth of the matter is I live alone. I'm lucky if I have more than one garbage sack in there. You leave my garbage can tilted over so strange mouse like animals can find a new home while it is chilly. I love the animals, but i don't love them in my garage. Finally, to this morning, it was snowing and I put my garbage out as usual. I left and went to work and when I returned my garbage was standing up, but the lid was flipped open. Nothing like a rainy/snowy day to really get the smells and goo's in the garbage re-activated. Thank you again for this because when I went to dump the water out, it splashed on me and some toxic avenger juice almost ate through my pants.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Picky is my name, Picky is my game.


In trying to have an open mind about internet dating I signed up for eharmony two weeks ago. They are always bragging that they have some special way to find a date that matches you. At this point I thought maybe they know something I don't.

Turns out they don't. After two weeks of being "matched" they say at this time the site has no more matches for me. Not suprising to me because all of these dudes looked like the typical mid thirties, goatee wearing, jazz fan. Their profiles didnt help them look any better. Im happy being single and un-matchable. You can keep your coffee shop clerk and your face-only-a-mother-can-love dudes. I have a pretty awesome dog to hang out with.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

This one is a doosy.....New York trip finally. Yes I said doosy.

Thursday February 19, 2009

Today started off really early. I had scrapbook club last night and then had to pack and try and get everything together, because a I'm a procrastinator. Nikki came over and of course I was half ready and scrambling. One day I will be an organized individual but for the time being I am who I am. I finished getting ready and my mom came and picked us up. She brought us two cream filled doughnuts and dropped us off at the airport. We checked our bags and had to eat said doughnut in the line for security. It was over-filled with cream so it was actually really hard because it was exploding with every bite. We got to the front of the line and got through without a hitch. We got to our gate and while we were waiting for the plane I left a message with my health insurance company for the billionth time. (We have been in a battle) We boarded the plane and got stuck next to a lady that we called Angela (from The Office) Lets just say she was a bit prickly. (and by bit I mean she was cold as ice) We played our Nintendo DS's and tried to take a nap. Angela kept elbowing me (which I cant decide was her being uncomfortable or trying to be mean.) We got here and kind of followed the crowd to the baggage claim. We weren't even sure it was the right one, and we had to wait for Angela and Phil Collins (another character from the plane, some Indy Rock looking girl who was rocking out to Phil) and there was a dude I called Dave, because he looked like a haggard version of Nikki's ex husband. Then we got our bags and walked out to the door. We were approached by a weaselly looking dude asking us if we needed a cab, to which we replied yes to. He started leading us over away from the cab line and who knows where......We wised up and went into the cab line. You never know my body could have ended up in a trash bag on the New Jersey Turnpike.

We got a cab and had him drop us off at Rockafeller Center at the NBC studios. I called Heather when we got there, and she lead us into the building and over to security so we could get visitor passes. He took our pictures and gave us a visitor pass that we hung on our coats. Then we passed all the tour groups and went into the secure area. We got into the elevator and Heather told us we didn't have to wear our badges and when we looked around nobody was wearing their badge. I think that was her subtle way of telling us we A) screamed tourist B) looked silly C) all of the above.

Then she had us put our bags in a little office on the floor she works on (the 4th) and she was almost done at work so she said we could get a snack at the cafeteria. Sounded good to me so we went to the 7th floor and she left us to eat. She sent me a text message about a half an hour later telling us to meet her on the 4th floor. We got in the elevator and the doors shut and we realized there were no buttons for floors in there. We were totally confused and then we hit the first floor. We went to change elevators in hopes of finding better luck in one of the 8 other elevators, but we realized it was full of tourists and security and felt a little silly so we rode it back up to the 7th floor. We got out totally perplexed and stood there totally confused. Finally we saw what looked like a telephone keypad and I thought I would give it a try so I hit the 4 on the keypad. It started beeping and we thought we had messed something up. Then it stopped beeping and said "E" We looked around and found that all the elevators were labeled with a number so we got on E and rode it down. Luckily this time it stopped and Heather was standing there saying "What took you guys so long?" We teased her about leaving us in uncharted territories with no instructions.

Then we got our bags and went down to the subway. It was a maze underneath the Rockafeller Center and lugging around a suitcase at quitting time was more fun then I could have imagined. We had to go through the doors that beeped and the subway worker was yelling that we needed to scan our metro card at the turn style, which I had already done, so when she yelled girl in the purple coat muotuljkjsdwoi....(the subway speakers are worse than the Arby's drive up) we just kept walking. ) We got on the right train and headed to Brooklyn. We got out and it was bitter cold. My hands were numb from the hauling of suitcase and the gloves packed somewhere inside. Finally after walking for what felt like eternity Heather said we had two blocks. I felt like she was holding out on me so I said "Long blocks or short blocks?" She said long blocks. I was counting down now! When we hit the next street I said so one more block? and she said "No, now its two blocks" I knew it! She was holding out on me. We
got to her building and then got inside the locked door and just for an extra burst of fun there were tons of stairs that were super narrow. Fun, Fun. I love heavy suitcases. We got into her apartment and I was super excited to drop that suitcase off and not have to worry about it for a while. I got my gloves out and we headed out to seek some dinner, like hunters in the wilderness.
We walked and walked and walked and got distracted along the way and went into a toy store. It was toys as far as the eye could see, packed up to the ceiling in every row. We were in there for a while and Nikki bought some stuff for her kids and we headed to our final destination. It wasn't as far as I made it out to be, but it was bitter cold outside. You would open the door and it would take your breath away. We went to a place called Pacifico. It was a cute little Mexican place, that had killer patio areas for the summertime. We got a table right next to the fire place. We ate dinner and got a picture in. Then it was time to go back, with a quick stop to Rite Aid for some things for Joe's birthday the next day. (that's Heather's boyfriend) At this point I realized a hat is absolutely necessary in New York in the winter. My ears were burning.




We walked back and just hung out at Heather's place. At about this time I discovered the only bra I took to New York (the one I was wearing) the underwire broke on one side and it was causing much discomfort. I was trying to conserve space in the suitcase for purses. Now I know whats at the top of the list for tomorrow. Get me a bra. We met her roomie Sarah, who was super nice and just hung out. I also had to do some puppet show offs. I made Joe a sock puppet of himself and one of Heather. He is the type of guy who will do super creative things with it. Like pictures and videos.















Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday morning Heather went to work and we got ready for the day. There was a bakery on the corner Heather had told us about so we were planning on going there. Right as we were about to leave there was a knock on the door and a dude with a strong Brooklyn accent was yelling Sarah. That is Heathers roommate so I answered the door. It was her building super and he was saying that he was there to fix the thermostat. There was never a mention of this so I was like well she isn't home, but she will be back later tonight. He said "Well I'm here now so I will get it fixed. There is an electrician on the way." Thinking about our almost "trip" in black trash bags to the New Jersey Turnpike... I sent a text to Heather and she confirmed he was there to install a new thermostat. So the dude left for a minute and we walked down the the bakery. I really couldn't decide what I wanted....their muffins, turnovers and bagels looked so good. I got a bagel and then at the last minute I thought I would get a turnover for later. I saw them put the turnover in my bag and then Nikki ordered and they gave her her order. The lady behind the counter said something about a bagel but she had a heavy accent so I thought she said they were working on the bagel. We stood there and stood there and I probably made some snotty comment about how they were making the bagel from scratch because it was taking so long. Finally after about 10 minutes Nikki said "Let me see your turnover." I looked in the bag and low and behold the bagel magically appeared in there. Feeling a little silly we walked out of there and back to Heather's place. Soon after the building super and the electrician were there. It was quite entertaining. The electrician came in and looked at the thermostat and said "Woah Ben Franklin himself installed this thing." Then made a comment on how it belonged in the Smithsonian. Then hearing these two guys talk was totally cute. They sounded like they were from the Soprano's. I wont get to hear that on a daily basis so it was fascinating. The electrician kept saying "but whatcha gonna do" I loved it. I need to get out more.

After breakfast we got our things together and hauled the suitcases back to Manhattan and checked into the hotel. It was called The Time and it was pretty nice for a priceline.com booking. I was afraid to get some crap hole. Nikki and I had great intentions for going to The Met but we ended up taking the yellow train to go shopping. We got off on 34th street and went to H&M because I was desperate for a hat and luckily a Victoria Secret was right there. The only hat I found they had was in the children's department and it would have fit down to my shoulders. I didn't want freezing/burning ears again so I bought it. It is just like one of those burglar beanies that I would never be caught dead in but as a last resort it kept me warm. I looked absolutely ridiculous. We went back to the hotel and Joe's roommate Tony came and met us in the hotel lobby to show us how to get to the restaurant for Joe's surprise party. We were impressed that this guy would go out of his way to come get us. We got about a block away and I realized I left the present (the puppets) I made for Joe in the hotel room. I jogged back and grabbed them and then we were off once again.




Me, Nikki and Tony on the subway--->
(check out my burgler beanie)





Disclaimer: The next part is where my inner catty-ness comes out. If you would like to think I would never stoop to this low skip the next two paragraphs. hehe

We got to the restaurant (Lil Frankies) and I walked in right behind this cute girl but she was wearing some dead rodent around her head like a halo of fur. I thought it looked totally silly and then I got introduced to her. She was part of the party. Whoops. There was a ton of introductions and I don't really remember any of the names. About 14 of them were named Tony (that might be a slight exaggeration) and the only Tony I could remember had to leave. Now Nikki and I were left with rodent halo and friends. We were waiting for our table forever and Heather and Joe walked in before we ever got sat. SURPRISE! Nothing like a 40th birthday surprise of your friends awkwardly standing in the restaurant waiting to be seated. While we were standing there we realized Elijah Wood was in the restaurant as well. To me, never having watched any lord of the rings, this wasn't a big deal. To others it was. He had bulgier eyes in person than in the movies and was not very attractive at all. It was my one star sighting so I thought I would mention it.

So we finally got sat and our table was inches from the surrounding tables. I felt bad for the waiters there because there was no room for them to walk by at all. They still needed to so it was bumping and squeezing through the isle. When I ordered my pizza I got to yell it to the other end of the table because the waiter didn't want to squeeze past everyone. I wanted a plain cheese pizza but there was no such thing on the menu or no mention of a build your own type pizza so I ordered the margarita pizza no tomatoes. The waiter said so you just want crust and cheese? no sauce? and I said I wanted sauce but not tomatoes on top. He explained that the tomatoes were in the sauce. I made this way more complicated than it needed to be so then I said I want a cheese pizza. At the other end of the table was blonde dude. He was one of the friends and he said "who is the cute girl at the end? (being me) and then fabio and hair dude looked all shocked and weird and said something and blonde dude said "oh" looking kind of put off. Yes boys I heard the first part and judging from the second part Im guessing whatever was said in response was not good. Strange. Anyway from the surrounding conversations I realized I am so glad I live in Utah. Rodent halo was from Provo and seemed like she wanted to be totally disconnected from where she grew up. She was nice enough just seemed to really be caught up in things that dont really matter to me like 280 dollar shoes and the fact that her babysitter has no teeth and wears a wig. That was mentioned on several occasions and I kept wondering if this is so unacceptable to you, why are you leaving your kid with her. There were several jabs at Utah and how much better New York is and blah blah blah. Then she told us that Fabio (he is either trying to grow his hair out, or just got a bad longer haircut) is married to a sweedish model and I was supposed to be impressed by this I think. I looked at him and saw him flip his hair on a few occasions and thats why I named him Fabio. There was also hair dude. He was married to Rodent Halo and they had a kid named Baxter Baxter. She was from Utah and he had lived here, they long distance dated and now they both live there. Rodent Halo had to point out that she didn't take his last name and many women in Brooklyn don't. She named her kid her maiden last name so she will call the doctor and say "Hi my name is Rodent Halo Baxter and my son Baxter needs an appointment." Then the doctors office will say your sons name is Baxter Baxter? Then she will have to explain everything I just said. Sounds like alot of work to me. Why not call and just say "Hi my son Baxter hair dude needs an appointment.
Anyways, it was a long dinner to say the least. I had fun though, its interesting to see the social parts of other peoples lives. I also gave Joe the sock puppets I made which was kinda funny. They are of him and Heather. There is a whole story about this, but I will edit it due to this long entry.

Then after dinner was done we got on the subway to Brooklyn so Heather could get her things, cause she was going to stay with us in the hotel. Rodent Halo and Hair Dude also live in Brooklyn so I got to talk to them some more. They asked what I did and I said I worked for an electrical contractor and did hair. Then I made a joke about how they go hand in hand. No Laughs......geesh. Then hair dude started asking if I used Aveda and I said no...its too earthy for this girl. Then he asked if I used Bumble and Bumble....I said I used to but don't at the current salon but I would love to.....Why? He works for both companies doing their website and advertising. Oh sweet. Hook me up! hahah There was more chatter about expensive shoes and other things I don't care about. Finally we were to Heathers house and we got her things and went back on the subway back to The Time. By now we were all pretty wiped. We pretty much went to bed.

Saturday February 21, 2009
started off really good, we all woke up and got ready and went to a restaurant called The Corner Cafe....I think it was in the Village. I had the most amazing french toast of my life......are you ready for this? It was creme brulee soaked french toast with a blackberry syrup. Its worth the trip to New York just for it. Who loves food? I Do I Do!
OK off that rant.....After breakfast we went to New York Tenement Museum. I had no idea what this was, but its a building restored to original living conditions of the tenement's between 1863 to 1935. Think gangs of New York or movies like it. Completely fascinating. I would recommend it to anyone. Then, since we were in the area, I needed to get some purse shopping in. Usually this is the highlight of the trip but I discovered one needs to be into knock off purses to like it. Heather and Nikki do not appreciate it like me and the ladies in my family do. It was less than fun because you could feel the tension in the air that they were not happy about hunting around like I was. I got some for the people in my life who gave me an order before I left and that was it. Poor purses, next time I will hang with you longer. Ha. Then before my friends killed me we took the purses back to the hotel room and went to dinner at a little restaurant just a few doors down. It was close and we were hungry. We ate there and I had an amazing lemon chicken and then we went back to the room and watched TV for a minute, then Heather wanted to go to a comedy show. She called around and found the recommended one and while we were arranging it with ourselves the show sold out. Boo. I suggested we go to Times Square so we could get some night pictures. We did that for a while and then they wanted to go hang at a coffee shop. Surprisingly hard to find in Times Square, unless you want to go to a Starbucks with no seating. We ended up wandering around and giving up and going to Applebee's because it was close and we were tired. Nothing like traveling across the country and going to a restaurant that you can attend at home. We had one snotty waitress that was not at all amused that we were just getting drinks and desert. It was one step down from yelling "NOOOOOOOO!" and running away from the table. This seemed to bother the other two and it made me want to stay there extra long to show her who's boss. haha. After that we were pretty much exhausted from walking all day so we went and crashed.

Sunday Morning started off with Heather thinking it would be awesome to wake up at 6 again. I didn't sleep much of the night so I didn't even hear her get up. She got up and got ready and went and got tea and then came back and woke us up. Boo again. I got ready and then had to stitch my suitcase back up so it would make it home without spilling its glorious contents for all the bag throwers to see. (this has happened to me before...stupid old suitcases) Then we went to a restaurant that was right by the MoMa that was supposed to be really good and it was super busy. The only thing I noticed was it was super overpriced. I got french toast once again because it came with bacon and everything else was separate. Heather didn't realize this and ordered a 17 dollar egg, 17 dollar plate of fruit, and 17 dollar toast. She realized when the bill came. The food wasn't even that good and our bill for 3 breakfasts was 75 dollars.

After that we went to the MoMa gift shop and looked around for a while and I got some presents for my family and then Joe met up with us and we walked back to the subway and on the way I had to get one last H&M visit in. Then we went to the hotel, got our bags and had one sad farewell with the Dragon. I miss her. Then we got to the airport and had some time to kill so we thought we would get some airport food before the long flight back. (OK not that long) There was a selection of super expensive Chili's, Burger King or Sabarro. We picked Sabarro and it was like melted cheese on cardboard. Still not sure if the other options would have been better. So after our delicious cardboard we went to our gate and you will never believe who was there! Dave look alike from our flight there! I have never laughed so hard. I'm glad nicknames are given at every chance possible because I was like "Nikki! Its Dave!
So we wait and board the plane and are stuck waiting in the isle for people to load their overhead baggage. We got stuck right next to Dave and being the friendly girl Nikki is started chatting him up. She asked if he had a good trip and he answered yes but it was work and then she asked where he worked and he said he was in a band that played somewhere in NYC and Atlantic City. Then she asked what band and he said "Air Supply" Both of us were like "oh!" Then he asked what we were there for and she said we were visiting a friend and he said good for you. THen there was this akward silence and then she blurts out "Yeah......we have friends." Luckily the line started moving so this amazing exchange could stop. Then the whole flight we tried to remember what Air Supply sang. It was driving us nuts and still didnt know until tonight when I decided to look it up on You Tube. (Im All Out Of Love....Im so lost without you, I know you were wrong...etc) I know you were all just trying to think of it...and didnt know. haha

Then the 5-ish hour flight followed and I felt like after 1 hour it was supposed to be done. By the time we landed I was crawling the walls with that "I cant sit here one more second" feeling. Then we got our bags, got stuck seeing Air Supply Dave at baggage claim and then my sweet mom and Toby picked us up.

That trip was too short, but if it was any longer think how much more blog you would have to read. I did you a favor by having such a short trip. Crap now I cant get that stupid Air Supply song out of my head.